So, I have been suffering from serious writer’s block.Like I try to start typing and I’m just blank or whatever comes to mind is a tad to ‘neither here nor there’ and it is a bit frustrating when I know write is what I want to do but my mind is nit functioning.So yes.That has been what I am dealing with.
I guess we all meet that one person who causes our worlds to spin every time he/she calls our name(being I am of the feminine gender, i shall refer to the masculine gender and if you are a man,simply reverse 🙂 . thank you). Back to what I was saying. So yes, you meet this guy who simply makes you do cartwheels in your head every time you so much as think of him.He seems to have a magnetic pull over you or maybe they used a portion on you because you never quite understand this weird chemistry that is there between you! And once you have met him, it’s like your fate is sealed and you are doomed because even when you are with another, you somehow find your thoughts straying or maybe not but before you call it a day,he is like the last thought you have and with a smile you sleep!
The craziness comes in because he is like the one person you almost cannot bag! Either because you are in a relationship with someone else or because he is not ready for a commitment or something.It’s like he is just meant to be there to taunt you and it is quite unnerving. You day dream about him and sleep talk with him.You replace the man you are with, with him and unconsciously find yourself wishing he was the one holding your hand or sitting across from you or sharing that ice cream!It’s insane and you tell yourself ‘If the stars have decided he’s not going to be mine,can they also just release me from this trance i seem to be in?’But of course it really has nothing to do with the stars and everything to do with God knows what because I do not have a name for it!
No matter how mad this person makes you,all they need to do is say ‘I’m sorry’ and world peace returns and you cannot wait to be in his arms or hear him just say your name; the sound of his laughter.You simply love being in his presence even if no words will be exchanged. Somehow, you have been through a number of things with him, so much so that he somehow is in everything you do.It’s like your shadow and you try to get rid of the thoughts and you manage not to think about him, until the next thing you or perhaps read or watch and then unwillingly you remember. Aaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!! That is your favorite sound as you almost want to commit murder to you are not sure what yet but it just feels like it would feel good.(Please do not pursue this emotion. Go scream on the roof top instead or something!)
Your life goes on and you have good times with other people and you build excellent memories with them,it’s only that you are not sure if they’ll ever come close to the times you had with this person who is now an enigma to you and soon enough you resign to the fact that somehow he will always be in the background,wherever you are.Maybe it is because you fight thoughts about him so much that they never seem to end.Maybe the trick is in feeling the emotions and thinking about him whenever the feelings and thoughts arise,instead of fighting them and perhaps someday you will wake up and you will be free of whatever spell he has on you and you will forget about him and be able to live your life free of him.
When that day comes for you,kindly let me know the feeling.I am yet to reach it. 🙂