A thorn in the flesh
Quite the disturnance it causes
Hindering self from 100% functionality
Taking its place; majestically; no apologies.
Treats my flesh as its home!
It is painful; it is annoying.
I scream at times;
‘Someone please take this thorn away!!!’
It echoes back at me
I always seem to be talking to self.
Most feel very sorry for me
They can see the pain in my eyes
But they cannot help with the thorn
They hold my hand and stroke my hair
“It’s okay. You’re a strong girl.”
The words most of them utter.
I know they care.
I know they wish they could help me
But at times in my head I’m shouting ‘SHUT UP! I DON’T WANY TO BE STRONG. I JUST WANT TO GET RID OF THIS THORN!!!’
In my head!
But outside, I smile at them; I even crack a joke or two.
I try to lighten the situation.
For I understand how helplessness can eat at you.
When you see someone you care about in pain, but can do nothing.
Times I downplay the pain;
Times I deny it altogether
I feel it is my battle to fight
After all, doesn’t it get old after a while.
Don’t people simply get used to it that it doesn’t bother them anymore?
That when you cry in pain, now,no one rushes by your side to hold your hand,
They simply glance at you, with a smile they say, ‘you will be okay’ and they move on.
No,I don’t blame them.
It is a thorn, in my flesh and like some wise man side,
It is only the wearer of the shoe who knows where it hurts.
So I don’t blame them.
I only wish I could get rid of this thorn
Not for a while, but for good.
But I fear that I may get comfortable with it
And simply accept it as a way of my life
Which will mean,accepting the limitations it comes with…
Am I ready for that?
Is that the only other option?