#TimesUp

I know that this hashtag has brought a lot of empowerment to many women and some men on the topic of sexual harassment and abuse and I believe it has achieved so much. The power of social media. I applaud it and continue to stand by it, especially now that it has a very personal meaning to me.

My #TimesUp story has nothing to do with sexual harassment or even pay parity. Nope. Mine has to do with myself. It’s #TimeUp for me being my own stumbling block.

I turn 31 next month and I feel like that’s the official beginning of my 3rd decade on earth and so I feel like things need to be different. The thirties have to be very different from the twenties. The thirties need to be clearer and more authentic. Maybe even wiser.

You see, the last one year has been very tricky for me. Going bankrupt, being jobless. It has all been crazy bit as the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining and I found mine in that, I had to face myself and deal with some hard truths I would rather have not. Self awareness and intent became such big things for me. Being intentional about what I do and why and knowing who I really I’m and what drives me.

And one of the things that came up is that I am my own worst enemy; I am my number one critic and obstacle. I found the root of it. From being bullied in high school. The psychological effect is it made me withdraw and made me dim my light because I figured being in the spotlight would lead to me being a target. This is what happened in high school.

So I have been keeping myself from really shining; from truly letting myself go and from blossoming into the beautiful flower I know I can be. I have been giving excuses, I have been mediocre because I didn’t want the spotlight on me. But no more. No more waiting for some permission or for someone else to validate me. I don’t need it.

So #TimesUp on my self destruction. #TimesUp on being mediocre; on letting my past hold me back; #TimesUp on letting what happened as a teen still dictate my life today. I am not a victim. And I’m done living in the shadows.

What’s your #TimesUp story? Please feel free to let me know in the comments and we can encourage each other or just figure it out and start afresh.

I know my best times are ahead of me.

Imperfectous.

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