I turned 31 last Thursday and I had quite a blast, which was all unplanned and that has kind of made me rethink my very strong stance about always planning one week in advance before I can do anything. Spontaneity once in a while is not too bad. This is how I managed to make my maiden Maasai Mara Trip as well, so there’s definitely some upside to living in the moment and not overthinking everything. 🙂
Today is the last day of June means it’s the last day of birthday month and as from tomorrow, it’s back to being focused and grinding and living life to the fullest. And that slightly scares me. Only because I feel like it has taken me longer to figure out what I want to do with my life, but mostly because I compare myself to others a tad too much and I everywhere I look, I feel like I am falling behind. I have been unemployed for the last one year. I was in my sister’s employ and something in me wasn’t right and I left. I needed to figure things out for myself and this time, without any crutch to lean on. I had no back-up. I had no income. I had no savings, really. But I knew in my heart that this was something I needed to do.
And as I took time, to be honest with myself, I realised that planning indeed is the one thing I absolutely enjoy and planning can be applied in so many areas and I found the most joy in event planning. I’m always doing it anyway. I am that individual in a group who will put things together, organise for meetups and all that. My friends know that when it comes to planning, they can depend on me. I’m also that person who will go to an event as a guest but if I see something that needs doing and no one is doing, I will up and get it done. Last year, I ended up coordinating a friend’s wedding after most of the family and friends who had pledged to help, were nowhere to be seen. I took charge and as much as I was tired at the end of the day, I was happy that I managed to help her enjoy her special day.
So events planning is it. That’s what my 30s will be about. And I was about to put it up on my WhatsApp status when I felt that there would be some judgment because I have promoted different things within a span of like a year. And it scared me. I don’t want to be judged. But then, this is my calling, so what do I do?
Gary Vee’s voice came to mind. He’s always talking about not giving other people’s opinions more weight than your own and not caring much about they think but living your truth and so, I had to come here and write it out first. Writing is always my way of sorting through my emotions and feelings and it always helps to give me clarity. And so now I am ready to go all in on myself and just do me and figure it out along the way. And it doesn’t matter that everyone else around me seems to have their lives together and I seem to just be starting out because we all have different races to run and it is time to focus on mine and leave other peoples alone.